Recap: ‘Hart of Dixie’ stumbles with sleepwalking
It was Halloween this week in Bluebell, and while Zoe didn’t get to wear a costume, other than Possibly A Tramp But Not Actually A Tramp, everyone else did! George was a sexy sleepwalking firefighter (bzuh?), Lemon was Marilyn Monroe (yawn), Wade was James Bond (yummy) and Lavon and Annabeth were Romeo and Juliet (I think?). Wanda and Tom were bacon and eggs, too, in case you care. Which I’m sure you totally do.
Aside from the costumes and the town Halloween party at the Rammer Jammer, there wasn’t much forward plot momentum this week.
Wade and Zoe are still going at it like rabbits and she’s been spending most of her nights at Wade’s house, to which no one is complaining. So when she comes home and sees that her bed with its new Kate Spade sheets has been turned down, a sock is in her underwear drawer and someone’s toothbrush is in her bathroom, her mind automatically jumps to stalker. Which, I suppose, is better than what she would have said a year ago (remember the ghost story?) so I think I’ll give her this one.
Wade did jokingly ask her if she’d considered the possibility of demons, and while I’m not against demons and other creatures terrorizing Bluebell (I would love to see some zombie attacks and how Zoe would try to medically explain them), the only obvious answer is that George has been stressing over his feelings for Zoe and thus he’s sleepwalking to her house and spending every night in her bed. Yes, that’s the only possible way this stupid storyline could go.
So it’s a big surprise when that exact scenario comes to fruition and Zoe accidentally maces George as he tries to climb into bed with her. Zoe, of course, quickly morphs into her alter ego, Doctor Hart (hey, maybe that was her costume!), and insists that George let her hook him up to a machine while she watches him sleep in order to observe him. This will, she assures him, help her get to the bottom of what’s bothering him and why he’s sleepwalking again (he used to suffer from it as a child).
Because this can’t possibly wait another second (Zoe says it’s imperative that they do this now because George lives on a houseboat and he could fall overboard, though I’m certain landing in the water would wake him up – which it does later on in the episode, so I totally have proof), Zoe forces George to miss Halloween, for which, he was going to be a firefighter, one of the costumes Zoe had wished Wade would have chosen. Her other choice was a male stripper a la “Magic Mike” (I hope she DVRd ‘New Girl’ this week), but he chose to look suave in a tux instead as he pretended to be James Bond.
So while Zoe was off falling asleep while observing George as he slept, Wade was tending bar at the Rammer Jammer and fighting off desperate women who wanted to get him into bed. Last year, apparently, he managed to sleep with three different women while still working the bar, and he was finding it hard to resist the sexy nurses and sexy whatever else’s and to stay good on his promise to Zoe that they’d be casually monogamous (no such thing, dude).
And then Zoe showed up to the bar looking for a sleepwalking firefighting George. She begged Wade to help her, because he’s basically her boyfriend at this point even though no one else wants to say it, but as they try to usher George out of the bar without waking him up (apparently that could be very harmful, or something), he says the most peculiar thing: he refers to Zoe as his girlfriend.
Instead of going, “Oh hell no, you’re not my boyfriend, weirdo,” Zoe says nothing, which one might interpret to mean that she still has feelings for him, despite her monogamous relationship with Wade.
As one might expect, Wade doesn’t take this too well and Zoe takes George home by herself (don’t ask me how, this isn’t the most logical show, OK?), while Wade fights off yet another suitor.
Desperate to know if she and George are happy in his dream state, and therefore if they’d be happy in real life, the two share the tenderest moment one can share with someone who’s not actually awake. They almost kiss, but Wade, who decided that he wasn’t the only one who needed to be reminded of the rules of their agreement, shows up and pushes a still sleepwalking George into the water. Outraged, Zoe yells at him that George was asleep, to which he replies, “I know. What’s your excuse?” and stalks away. George, of course, is now awake and completely oblivious to anything that happened within the last several hours.
Once out of the water (it wasn’t even that deep, y’all. I told you he’d be fine.), George and Zoe have The Talk. George still has feelings for her, despite having been on 13 dates in three weeks (and you guys got mad at me for complaining about all the non-wallowing he was doing) and while Zoe still has feelings for George, she sticks by what she told him earlier this season: she didn’t want to be a rebound, and that if they were ever going to be together, he needed to be with someone else first.
Let me tell you how I know this won’t work. Aaron Sorkin tried this very scenario once on his too-short comedy, ‘Sports Night.’ If you’ve never seen the show, 1) what is wrong with you? Netflix that shit STAT, and 2) let me explain:
‘Sports Night’ is a show centered around the behind-the-scenes goings on of a nightly sports show similar to SportsCenter. It starred Peter Krause as Casey McCall and Josh Charles as Dan Rydell, the co-hosts of the fictional show. It also starred a pre-‘Desperate Housewives’ Felicity Huffman as the show’s executive producer, Dana Whitaker.
At the beginning of the series, Casey is freshly divorced from a horrible troll of a woman, and everyone knows, except Casey, that he’s harbored feelings for Dana since they were in college. It’s an ongoing storyline, and Dana dates other people during the first season. In the first episode of the second season, Casey struggles with asking Dana out on a real date. And before they even go, Dana has a wackadoo idea that because Casey hasn’t dated since his divorce, that they should see other people for six months before they date.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or a therapist to see the flaws in that plan. Much as you probably guessed, the plan fails and they never get together. This is partly because the show was canceled at the end of the second season as Sorkin was just beginning his work on a little show you’ve probably never heard of called ‘The West Wing.’ But that’s not the entire reason it didn’t work; it didn’t work because the plan was terrible.
As much as I dream that Zoe and Wade will eventually grow enough as people to sit down and admit that this thing they both deem isn’t a serious thing actually is serious, I know that it’s only a matter of time before Zoe and George get their moment in the sun.
The writers will surely struggle to bring them together after throwing them into this insane mess of a plot device, but I have no doubt that one day we’ll be exploring the depths of the Zoe and George relationship (not on this website; hell no, I am a devout believer in the power of a shirtless Wilson Bethel and I subscribe to the workings of Zade always and forever, but it will happen on the show, and then we’ll all come back here and grieve about it together). I have no doubt that they will fail, and that Zoe and Wade will eventually be together, but if this episode is any indication, that time is a long, long way away.
Some stray observations:
- The B plot of the episode revolved around Lavon trying to secure the votes of a strict Auburn family. Annabeth, who apparently harbors a crush on our dear mayor and is basically Auburn royalty, concocts a plan in which she pretends to date Lavon in order to score the votes (and hopefully a bit more). As someone from Columbus, Ohio, I was born into one of the greatest rivalries in college football, and let me tell you that your football team allegiance matters in life. You couldn’t pay me to vote for someone who used to play for Michigan. So I completely understand that while this storyline seems trivial, it’s not. And although the plan works, Lavon it too much of a gentleman to succeed by lying. He comes clean to the Auburn family, who declare that they’d never vote for someone who used to play for Alabama and who would concoct a scheme like this one.
- The B plot also revived the Lavon and Lemon love story as Lemon grew increasingly jealous at the thought of Annabeth beginning a relationship with Lavon. I don’t exactly know how I feel about this, because I was pretty well done with it last season, but perhaps my new-found fondness for Lemon will bring a new side to the story that I hadn’t seen before.
What did you guys think? Are you happy with Wade’s progress these past couple of weeks? Do you worry about how long he and Zoe can maintain this relationship or do you just settle for being happy with what we’re getting? How do you feel about Lemon and Lavon being revisited? And were you grossed out by Wanda’s costume? Because I was. Hit the comments!
Note: Photo courtesy of the CW.