Awards Show Roulette: The SAG Awards & Golden Globes are all in on crazy
Someone asked me today what I thought was more of a head-scratcher: the SAG nominations that came out yesterday or this morning’s equally ridiculous Golden Globe nominations. And I have to tell you guys, because I think that I can be honest with you, they were both royal clusterfucks.
Both the Screen Actors Guild and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association tend to have their finger on the pulse of some drunk teenager from Wisconsin (Shut up, I’m from Ohio; I can make fun of the Midwest if I want to) who still thinks ‘Glee’ is a good show and that Danny Huston in ‘Magic City’ gave a better performance than Aaron Paul, Peter Dinklage, John Slattery and that guy who breathed that one time. But you know what? I’m not going to complain this year (…because I already did that on Twitter), I’m just going to roll with the punches and start drinking now – because, really, what’s the point?
But if you missed my rants on Twitter – here’s an infographic:
Now, you might be asking yourself why I’ve placed Goddess Connie Britton so far away from the center of the bulls eye, and let me tell you, if this were a belated nomination for ‘Friday Night Lights’, I’d have made her size 72 font and put her right in the center as if Robin Hood or Oliver Queen shot her there himself. But it’s not. This is a nomination for ‘Nashville’. And I’d like to also take the time to point out that Connie never received a Golden Globe nomination for her work as Mrs. Coach – mull that over for a second. And then forward all your hate mail for the HFPA to me so I can bundle it with my own.
I placed ‘The Newsroom’ so far out because while I enjoyed the show (mostly the John Gallagher Jr. parts), I don’t think this debut season is award worthy – especially not in place of ‘Mad Men’. I know I wrote that I thought ‘Mad Men’ had its weakest season to date (I still blame Megan), but a weak ‘Mad Men’ is still better than 95 percent of what’s on TV. The HFPA must have been doing some of Walter White’s meth. Because they also forgot to nominate Aaron Paul (who now has two Emmys for his role as Jesse Pinkman on ‘Breaking Bad’ and no SAG or Golden Globe nods).
The Golden Globes and SAG Awards are always a bit off. If they were an inanimate object, they’d be Carrie Mathison’s Wall of Crazy. Remember Piper Perabo and Patrick J. Adams (I love you, dude, but that was totally weird)? I guess this year we have Hayden Panettiere, whom I actually enjoy on ‘Nashville’ – I’m kind of digging her storyline, aside from that wackadoo marriage proposal – but isn’t award nomination worthy. She. Is. Up. Against. Dame. Maggie. Smith. GUYS. I think someone nominated her as a joke.
And don’t even get me started on ‘Sherlock’ being locked out of the Miniseries category (though Benedict, unsurprisingly got his due). Sherlock didn’t actually die, guys, you can stop punishing the show now.
So those are my two cents. What do you guys think? Are you happy about ‘Breaking Bad’ finally breaking in (heh) to the drama category at the Globes? Can you believe it’s never been nominated there before? Is Hayden seriously in a category with a Dame? Is everyone in the HFPA drunk? Are you?
Note: Photos courtesy of Showtime, ABC, The BBC and HBO.